How to Love
Do you know anything about love? Do you know how to love, how to express love or what love feels like? Do we make loving someone difficult when it should be all so simple? Is there a difference of loving someone & being in love with someone? Who was the last person that you fell in love with and are you still in love?
Love is a feeling of deep affection for a person that can be tender and passionate. It can be romantic and/or with sexual attachment. It is an insatiable powerful feeling that can be unconditional. Isn’t that what you want in your relationship? Isn’t that how you want to feel about your significant other? It is a feeling that no matter what, your desires to be with him or her are so strong that the bond can’t be broken.
I haven’t had that feeling in a very long time, been close to it, but I think it was more of the attention that I needed and the lust of being in a very fulfilling sexual relationship. At one point in my life (okay more recently) I felt that I didn’t know how to love or I just didn’t have the ability to love. In my last relationship, when he told me he loved me, I cried because I couldn’t say it back. I didn’t have the mutual feelings that he felt for me. I had to learn to love him, but I never fell in love with him.
One day last summer, I was rolling down Madison Road through Hyde Park on my way to pick up my son from school. “How to Love” came on by Lil Wayne and few seconds later, I get a text from a male friend of mine that said, ‘every time I hear how to love, I think of you’. Damn, I chuckled because listening to the lyrics had me feel some type of way. Maybe he was right, all the heart breaks, all the insecurities and self doubt I was unwilling to let love in and allow myself to love.
Many people settle in love and I choose not to. I don’t want to be with someone because I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want to be someone for convenience or because my friends and family says I’m too old to be single (lol). I believe in true love, I still believe in the fairy tale Romeo & Juliet love, the ride or die love. I’m patiently waiting for him to make me smile, laugh and make me want to love; love him hard. I will wait until the day I die.
One thing I have learned through my experience in being in relationships and dating is that some people use the term love too loosely. I’ve heard “I love you” many times and most times I’ve laughed. But my experience made me grow and learn. I have finally learned how to love myself. I finally know my worth, I am happy with my not so perfect self; I have finally got it together so now I’m ready to let that feeling of love in. I couldn’t allow anyone to love me if I didn’t love myself. Now, I know what love is. I’ve met someone who got me to open up and now I’m willing.
I know its love when I wake up thinking about him and that he’s the last person I speak to before I close my eyes. When he becomes my best friend and I can’t wait to see or talk with him; wanting to be in his presence, in his arms. When he helps me become a better person and I’m his biggest supporter; a sweet love. It’s love when we passionately make love to Maxwell or Prince. It’s real when the words, “I love you” roll off my tongue easily. That’s when it’ll be undeniable that I have fallen in love. I will patiently wait for that day.